A recent spate of "Where Are They Now?" articles have caused us to wonder what happens to characters after their shows end. Would Punky Brewster still be squatting in abandoned apartments? Would Jordan Catalano be a famous rock star? Would Ricky Stratton have his own E! True Hollywood Story? We know about the actors, but where are the characters that made them famous? Here are some of our guesses:

Alex P. Keaton (Michael J. Fox), Family Ties
No one was all that surprised when Alex made a successful transition from big business to politics. Alex was elected to Congress, where he worked to protect the interests of large corporations. But the bona fide Republican was forced to take a step back from the limelight after he barely escaped imprisonment in the savings and loan scandal of the 1980s. Now Alex P. is back, and he was even on the short list of running mates for presidential hopeful and longtime friend George W. Bush.

Vicki the Robot (Tiffany Brissette), Small Wonder
After annoying the Lawson family for years with her irritating mechanical voice, father Ted (Dick Christie) finally shut Vicki down. Her smock dress was donated to the Raggedy Ann Museum in Arcola, IL, and her dismantled body parts were recycled into Patagonia fleece vests and faulty airline parts.

Ricky Stratton (Rick[y] Schroder), Silver Spoons
After purchasing an MBA from Harvard Business School for his son, Edward Stratton III (Joel Higgins) finally decided it was time for Ricky, who now goes by Richard, to make it on his own. After toying with the idea of joining the NYPD, Richard, along with longtime friend Derek Taylor (Jason Bateman), decided to use the family money to found yet another Internet startup. KitschToysForRichBoys.com sells home train sets over the Internet and just filed with the SEC for an IPO. Richard is currently dating Penelope Brewster.

Evie Ethel Garland (Maureen Flannigan), Out of This World
While rushing to finish her final project for woodshop, half human/half alien Evie decided to give herself a few more hours by putting her fingers together and stopping time. Unfortunately, Evie was working with Superglue (bonds skin instantly) at the time and, well, the world has never been the same. Sensing her vulnerability, an enemy alien alliance composed of the Predator, the Borg and Alf, invaded Earth and abducted her.

Jonathan Bower (Danny Pintauro), Who's the Boss?
Who cares?

Jordan Catalano (Jared Leto), My So-Called Life
Jordan Catalano hasn't changed much since we last saw him in 1995 — he's still in high school, still hasn't washed his hair, still can't read and is still looking for Tino. Having ditched most of his classes to make out in the boiler room or rehearse with Frozen Embryos, the 23-year-old Catalano is still the most angst-ridden sophomore in town. He spends his days charming girls into doing his homework and vapidly leaning against lockers. College, schmollege. The only classes he does attend are shop and remedial reading, taught by student teacher Miss Angela Chase (Claire Danes).

Penelope "Punky" Brewster (Soleil Moon Frye), Punky Brewster
Ms. Penelope Brewster, as she now likes to be referred, earned a full scholarship to Harvard University, where she met current beau and sometimes business partner Richard Stratton. (Richard is helping Ms. Brewster, in her spare time, market a line of mismatching watches and shoes to the spunky, funky, orphaned members of Generation Y.) Penelope is presently pursuing her doctorate at Harvard, where she's studying gender issues in Byzantine literature between the years 1412 and 1450. Penelope and Richard are planning a June 2004 wedding, but Richard's unscrupulous friend Derek has fallen in love with her and is intent on making her love him instead.

Nicole Bradford (Staci Keanan), My Two Dads
Nicole, after being raised and surrounded by incompetent men, went off to Bryn Mawr in Northampton, MA, where she discovered she no longer needed men at all. After Bryn Mawr, Nicole decided to volunteer at an all-women's organic-farming community for homeless midwives. She has never returned to New York, nor has she sought out the identity of her true father.

Emily Valentine (Christine Elise), Beverly Hills, 90210
Did you notice that after Beverly Hills' favorite firestarter left the show, half of the West Coast went up in blazes of forest fires? We did, too. No surprise: She's been running from the law for a few years now and was last seen squatting in an abandoned trailer outside Reno, NV.

Blossom Russo (Mayim Bialik), Blossom
After Six (Jenna Von Oÿ) died in a tragic balcony accident while pledging an evil sorority, Blossom decided to take some time off from college and travel around the world. Eventually she found herself in Honduras, supervising a hatmaking factory for Kathie Lee Gifford's Kmart clothing line. Blossom now lives in L.A. and collects crystals.

(Originally published July, 2000 and co-written with Leslie Ginsparg)